Sunday, February 22, 2015

Notes from a Wallflower at the Bar - Feb 21, 2015

10:47
There is a set of identical twins here with matching haircuts and soul patches... talk about future regrets.


11:16
The girl in the overalls just got an entire beer spilled on her. She just shrugged and unclipped the top of the overalls and let them fall. First time overalls have been convenient for a non painter in a while.


11:24
Elderly man just walked in and immediately shook my hand. Said he felt like he could be my grandfather then gave an extra squeeze. I said you could be my grandfather, you're significantly older than me (I actually said nothing and just politely moved on with my life).


11:52
Bathroom doesnt have a mirror. We're considering that a win.


12:12
On the walk to the second bar we got an impromptu concert from some buskers.




12:28
Guy at the second bar has the Ragnar Lothbrok hair style. I says hey guy, in the new episode its buzzed on top! Catch up! (I didn't look at him more than once cause that hair style is intimidating).


12:32
The second bar is more of a townie bar and I'm making that assumption solely on the amount of puffy vests being worn.


12:38
There is a girl here who is wearing sweatpants, a tank top, and a beanie and she looks convincingly better than I look but that's mostly cause of her butt.


12:48
Hoping the 3 dollar PBRs kick in and I get drunk enough to talk to one of these strangers.


12:51
Brad and I, sitting at a table, just the two of us, out of things to talk about, just nodded at each other three times in a row. Then a little laugh. Then Brad said, "man we need some friends".


12:54
Just played the bathroom line situation like a god damn fiddle, if I were a really good fiddle player.


12:59
Had a healthy conversation with a mustachioed man in the bathroom. He only walked in there to twist his mustache. I thought it would be a good time to pepper him with questions. I acted as if his mustache was awesome and that I liked it. Might be the best undercover journalism I've ever done. He says getting it to stay is all about using the right wax (his is thirty dollars) and twisting it every fifteen minutes. He said it is a labor of love. We got kicked out of the bathroom because we werent peeing, just talking about his mustache.




1:08
Just did an extensive study while standing at the bar waiting to get a drink and concluded that if your eyebrows protrude farther than your chin then you face is built wrong.


1:17
Brad and I bet on how many mouthfuls it would take me to finish this PBR tall boy. I said four. Brad said five.


1:28
Finished it in four mouthfuls. More like three and a half actually.


1:37
On the walk home we encounter a bid ol fight. Chick fight that some dudes got involved in. One guy took a stiletto heel to the forehead and was bleeding pretty bad.





1:54

Back at our place and we have turned to the only food we have. Cheese and hot dogs and no bread. So hot dogs and swiss cheese it was!





















2:14
We're watching the most recent episode of New Girl and I'm explaining how Winston has replaced Nick as my favorite character comedy wise.

2:38
Dead.

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